My Wonderful Buffalo Sisters

As I pass through the three year mark of my ovarian cancer journey, I have been making the time to reflect back on my life and see how blessed I am to have the wonderful women that I do in it. Sorry guys, this is not about you this time!

I have my Baldwin sisters, my Buffalos sisters, my cancer sisters and many other sisters that I have met along the way that are also a big part of my life. I use the word sisters because they are more than just friends to me. Each of them has had a positive impact on my life in one way or another. I have known many of them since we are children and some since our college days, which are the ladies I have had the honor of watching grow into beautiful strong women. In this blog, I will talk about my Buffalo sisters:

2001

Helen's 50th - 2011

A few weeks ago I went to dinner with my Buffalo sisters (as I lovingly refer to them). We do our best to get together for each of our birthdays, especially now as some of us are becoming the big “50”! They are my dear friends that I made at the University of Buffalo. Jody couldn’t be with us, so we were minus one. As we sat at the table, I mentally removed myself and looked at each one them, thinking of what they looked like when I met them in 1981, what they were like then and who they have each become 29 years later. So much life has transpired between then and now. Between getting married, having kids, getting divorces, getting remarried, losing parents, illnesses, jobs, job losses, 9/11 and so on, the one thing that stood out to me, is that they are all survivors. We are all survivors. As I was listening to our conversations, I noticed the difference in our reactions to situations of present, versus the way we would have responded to them then. Geez, we are really grownups now! How did that happen?! We are proud moms, worried moms, and hopeful moms. We are loving aunts, and dear daughters and sisters. Each of them hold wonderful jobs (I used to, but not any longer due to the beast), and are successful within their careers and within their lives. Each of the five of us has very different family dynamics, yet, we are all the same. We love, we care, and we embrace them.

Gayle's 50th - 2011

While we were taking our turns updating each other on our lives, I also noticed the drastic difference in our topics of conversation this time. Usually, we talk about fun and happy things, yet this time, we were more solemn. We talked about mom’s that now need our care, our kids that are now in college, our kids going to college next year, sisters that we love or love because we have to, dads that are getting up there in years, and although are doing well, we can see the changes of getting older in them. And, of course we talked about cancer. One of these ladies is a breast cancer survivor, so two of the five of us have been stricken by this horrible disease. She thank G-d is clean and doing very well.

Relay for Life - June 2009

I have been through so much in my own life that I can relate to many of the issues that came up. But the one that really affected me the most was when Gia and Connie (names changed as this is personal info) talked about their moms. It is so apparent of how much they give of themselves to caring for them, the way their mom’s cared for them as they grew up. It is not an easy task for them physically or emotionally. Gia’s mom lives in the bottom half of her home, so pretty much Gia is on call 24/7. She works full time, and comes home to take care of mom. Her day starts with mom at 5 AM every day, even the weekends. She has six siblings of which five live locally and help out, as well as her wonderful husband who is so incredibly kind. Gia accepts her responsibility and assists her mom with a golden heart. That is just who Gia is, and always was. I call her Saint “Gia”!

Connie’s mom lives in NJ, and Connie lives in NYC so for her, she works full time in the city, then commutes to NJ to see her mom and help out where she can. She is one of 3 sisters of which one is not helping out at all. Connie’s mom suffered from 5 plus strokes in a very short time and has watched her mom go from a brilliant, assertive and strong woman to someone who has lost her short term memory, and needs care around the clock. This is a devastating change to see in anyone, especially someone you have looked up to and has been there for you up to the day she got ill. When Connie was telling us about her mom, her whole face changed. Connie is a gorgeous brunette with big doe-like eyes whose makeup is always perfect with a bright smile, but when talking about mom, her sparkle faded, she was saddened and distraught. I have seen Connie go through life’s BS before, but this was different. I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her and let her know everything will be ok. I wanted her to be able to feel the strength I could share with her that we can all share with her, so she knows she is not alone. Connie is an amazingly strong and passionate woman, but no matter how strong we are, it makes us stronger to have support, and know you are not alone.

When I got home, I looked through our pictures from our years in college, from living in the dorm to moving off campus. And then I reflected on the years in between. Each moment at the time seemed to last forever, but now looking back they were all very small chapters of a lifetime of memories gone by. I love my Buffalo sisters with all of my heart. They put up with so much of my drama (as I did theirs), there were times when they were mad or fed up with me, but they stuck with me. They loved me unconditionally, as I do them. They have fun stories of me that only they can laugh to (IE: Gloria), they knew me as the student that really wasn’t, the one who had the temper, the strong mind and will and the one who would fight for them and with them no matter what. We lived together for years in a house with ONE bathroom! Hello!! That was SIX girls with ONE bathroom, and we made it work.

Looking back I see that our love and respect for each other started way back then, almost 30 years ago. How blessed I am to have fallen where I did, to allow me to meet these wonderful ladies, that have improved my life and who I have become.

I love each of you and will forever.