My “Other” Husband

I am very blessed that I have several angels in my life. Some of them flutter their wings softly around me, others are up in heaven, and then I have those who’s wings flap with such love, support and enthusiasm, I am warmly reminded of their constant presence. Thank you Steven for flapping your wings so loudly. Xoxo  

My husband Frank and I often joke about his “other” Nancy. She works with him at Scholastic Book Fairs, and they work together daily, very closely. However, his “other” Nancy lives in St. Louis, MO. and, although they speak and email several times a day, they have yet to meet.

Steven Eliades

My “other” husband is Steven. He and I are the Co-Founders of The Circle of Strength, Inc.  We talk several times a week, and see each other often. We talk about ideas to help The Circle grow, friends, life, flagels with cream cheese and general gossip! We are very much in sync with each other, and often laugh when we both go to say or do the same thing, which is freakishly often. These things, plus a combination of good work ethics, respect and appreciation for each other are all things that make it work. My two “husband’s” know each other, respect each other, and are friends as well. I am a very lucky woman (wink, wink!).

Steven and I have known each other since Junior High School in Baldwin. He being a year older than I am (hee, hee, he is older!), we had many mutual friends, but not a real direct friendship. From high school we have memories of each other, but again, we were simply connected by the friends each of us had.

As so many have, Steven and I reconnected through Facebook. Back in February of 2010, he reached out to me sending a beautiful private message, asking me if I remembered him (are you kidding me?!). He said that he saw posts and comments on mutual friend’s walls about what I was going through with my cancer, and was amazed at the support that I have. He also loved The Circle of Strength’s Facebook page, and wanted to join to be supportive as well. Over the next several days, we exchanged in depth letters back and forth, catching each other up on our lives. He is a man who has been through so much and chose to share it with me which I appreciated, because all too often, folks tend to hold back sharing things with me, thinking, how could I want to hear their issues, when I am dealing with cancer? Truth be known, it’s nice to get a break from my sh*t and try to be supportive of other’s with theirs!! We all have sh*t, so why shouldn’t yours be as important as mine?

What I didn’t know then, but soon found out was that Steven has the Philanthropist gene deep within him. He approached me about taking “The Circle” to the next level. A fundraiser, with a walk, and to have everyone make a “circle” joining hands and raising them together, all in the name of ovarian cancer.  He asked if I was interested. And, if so, am I up to it. Interested?! Up to it???!!! Hell yeah! Bring it on baby!

I needed this. Steven was a “G-d-sent” to me. I had just resigned from my job, I was battling for the second time and I needed a focus. Developing a Non-for-Profit for ovarian cancer awareness was also a great way to get the word out to all the women out there about this horrific disease known as “The Silent Killer,” reason being that the symptoms are so slight and often overlooked or misdiagnosed. By the time the disease it is recognized it is in the advanced stages, and much more difficult to battle back. We need to raise awareness and funds for medical research so researchers can find a way for early detection, better treatments, and ultimately a cure. I NEEDED TO DO THIS!

The next thing we knew, we were building an event to take place on June 5^th, 2010. We were three and half months away from lift off, and had so much to do. Some really awesome friends of ours jumped on board (Laurie, Elena, Beth and Tony) and we had some great help from others as well (Anmarie, Bonnie, Jen, Lisa, Karen and Kelly, Susie, Red and so many others), and you know what? With a lot of determination and greasy elbows, we made it happen. We established ourselves as a Non-for-Profit in the State of NY, got the permits required to use Baldwin Park, and within that short time, Steven’s dream became a reality.

Being Steven and I had grown up in Baldwin, we felt having the walk in Baldwin Park would draw many of the folks we grew up with to come to our event, as they were coming back home. They would be going full circle! Through Facebook, we advertised, and got the word out about the walk. We set up a website about us and to take donations, and the money started to come in. All of us on the board were amazed. We were really doing this!

The week before the event was rather hairy to say the least! It was crunch time, and we didn’t have many of the tasks done. We had received over 150 raffle prizes that needed to be put together and wrapped, we needed to finalize who was speaking and/or performing and when, and oh lord, what will we do if it rains. OK, to be honest, I was panicked about the possibility of rain since we first talked about it! I am always nervous when it comes to an “outdoor” event.

So the day before the event, Steven and I spent the day together, trying to go over last minute details, our speeches, who was going to run which booth, and so on. Steven has the energy of 10 men and I have the energy of half of one (chemo does that), so we balance each other out. We decided that day, that it is what it is, and look how far we have come. Tomorrow, we will look at as our “dress rehearsal” and learn for next year’s event.

Don't Rain on Our Parade!

The weather forecast for the next day was very, very iffy. As I sat in my car waiting for Steven to drop off his car at the dealer, I was really getting quite uncomfortable hearing the forecast. So, off went the radio and on went Barbra Streisand. LOVE HER! I had on the song “Don’t Rain on My Parade” which is one of my Barbra fav’s… Then it hit me, I was going to add myself to the performance list and lip sync this song the next day. Steven got in the car, and I was nuts about my new idea. I really think he thought I flipped my lid! But the song was perfect in so many ways for me to do, because for me it was about not allowing ovarian cancer to bring me down. And, of course about it not raining on our day! Thank you Steven for agreeing to let me do it (not like I would have let you say no – lol), because it was the greatest feeling for me to just let it rip! Steven and our board members joined me onstage towards the end for a kick line; seriously… The Rockette’s have nothing to worry about!

The Circles - 6/5/2010

Well, it didn’t rain on our parade, but it was extremely windy which we survived. It was a very successful event, where we raised $10,000 to donate to the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund. Everyone had a great time, and Steven’s vision of forming The Circles (survivor circle in the middle, and supporters circle around them) became a reality. The Circles were and still are my favorite part of our walk/fundraisers. It is a time to reflect, be united, pray for a cure and know you are NOT alone.

The Circles - 6/6/2011

TCOS receives a Citation 2011

Today, we continue to rock on and move forward in raising awareness and funds for medical research for ovarian cancer. Steven’s dream is now very much real. We have had two yearly walk/fundraisers and a bowling event, and are currently working on next year’s walk/fundraiser which is going to be completely different then previous years (shhhh, I can’t discuss that yet!). We have also donated more funds to the OCRF, and plan on keeping them as our only beneficiary. We have added some great people to our board who are a pissa and a half. I love them all so much. We have such a great time together planning our events. Each of them brings something else to the table so we all balance each other out with great ideas. We are a family. Steven has given me a very valid way to fight ovarian cancer. Not only for myself, but for every woman out there.

The Board :)

 

Thank you Steven for being you, for reaching out to me and standing by my side. For wanting to help me and all of my oc sisters with this disease known as the “silent killer", as well as getting the word out to help healthy woman know the signs of oc, so they can stay ahead of the game.

You are a true inspiration for me. I am so blessed that you are one of my angels. Love you.